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Citizen Weekly

Monday, 23 March 2015


Last week, in the twilight hours of a weekday, I saw a man slightly younger than Kenya’s independence trying to plant a peck on some lass who looked 20-something. The woman wheeled her head the other way, making the man miss with the reprimand: “Sometimes you embarrass me, even around my friends.” She was clearly displeased. It was along the busy Kencom area, and the woman was justifiably apprehensive. Maybe one of her friends might see an old man publicly displaying his lust and might draw wrong conclusions. While dating senior citizens is bound to arch some eye brows Kenyan society has lately seen older men recklessly showing their affection in public in the company of younger girls, who seem to have kissed moral scruples goodbye. They are now comfortable sitting on the laps of men with sagging foreheads, calling them ‘Sweets.’ I would leave these women alone, because we are all trying to put food on the table, but they have become annoying braggarts who put men and women their age down. They flaunt their smartphones, cars and vacation pictures, just to make their peers envious. They long wrote off men their age. A relationship between a grandpa and a woman the age of his daughter is a mutually exploitative arrangement. See also: There’s too much texting and little loving in relationships The man wants sex. The young woman wants the money. Period. We have since upgraded our vocabulary. Sugar daddies and men who generally dish out money in exchange for sex (including Nigerian men and drug dealers) are now called sponsors. This is to help men identify a woman who is living a sponsored life:
Your are here » Home » NaiNotepad Why women under 30 who love Rhumba are mpango wa kandos By Silas Nyanchwani Updated Monday, March 23rd 2015 at 11:45 GMT +3 0 inShare 1. Moving up If she previously lived in Zimmerman, but suddenly moves to Ngong Road and starts saying things like, “Makangas harass commuters,” (previously known as passengers) and she drops a line like, ‘Zimmer is so crowded.’ 2. Shop business She suddenly opens a well-stocked shop, mostly selling clothes and handbags from ‘Dubai’ and you cannot trace source of the capital. 3. Expensive wear She wears expensive weaves, clothes and shoes. Women hate spending extravagantly on themselves if they are the ones footing the bill. 4. Loves Rhumba @PatOski on Twitter reckons those ladies who enjoy Rhumba are sponsored. I agree. Any woman under 30 who enjoys Rhumba has dated an older man. See also: There’s too much texting and little loving in relationships 5. Expensive phone You see her at a bus stop in Buruburu with an iPhone at 10.30 am. Or she changes her smartphones with the regularity of a spoilt brat, yet she is just a student on HELB. 6. Exotic holidays She posts pictures of exotic destinations without male company.